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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Boundaries......Part 2

I uncovered another negative consequence of not setting boundaries today. I realized that if I don't set boundaries for myself in my work, then I end of exhausted. I also can tend to see any and all needs from others as demands that really piss me off. This all stems from not being able to set the boundary and also recognize when I have crossed my own boundary and pushed myself too hard. I get tired, bitchy and see normal to-do's as huge inconveniences. It is a crazy cycle that I get myself all hyped up in. This was a great topic of discussion in our group coaching call today. It was led by Heather and she picked the theme for today's discussion. It was perfect. It was exactly what I needed to look at from a different perspective that related directly to how hard I push myself. I don't respect my own boundaries enough to stop when it is time. I just keep pushing harder and harder. This drive can be a good quality, I get a lot accomplished and I don't have to be hounded to get something done. BUT, it can be negative as well. This last week it was negative. I didn't listen to my body and mind telling me to give it a rest. I waited until I had a headache and I felt sick before I stopped. I got really crabby and negative in situations that I would normally meet with no problem. This of course causes a ripple effect for the people around me. My business colleagues, my friend, and my family all feel like they are under attack and probably feel guilty if they ask me to do anything. I am glad to have been able to recognize this and get some positive feedback from the coaching group. They gave me the tip to try and recognize the meltdown before it happens and allow myself to take a break. They also made it clear that if I ever feel overwhelmed by anything we are doing, that I need to speak up and say so. Essentially I need to state my needs. Listen to my own body and honor it. I came to the conclusion that this is an area that I do need to work on. It is something I really thought I didn't have a problem with. But clearly I do. I am excited to implement this new way of treating myself. I look forward to understanding the balance I need to be as productive as possible without damaging myself and the people around me that I love.

1 comment:

Maia Berens said...

Whoop-de-doo! This is a big one for all of us. Some of us end up sick by pushing ourselves and ignoring our needs. Glad you are stopping this now. Whatever way I can support you in this, let me know. I know I will ask you if you're headed there if I notice it.

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