I have been reminded of who I am

My life has changed so much in the past year that it is truly unbelievable.  I don't want to sound like someone who is trying to promote anything, but seriously, since I have began a life coaching relationship with Maia and went through her personal development program (YOU University) my whole everything has changed.

The most noticeable to me is the way I feel inside. I am 42 years old and for the first time in my life I don't have internal turmoil going on inside of me. I don't feel anxious, worried, or stressed out for no apparent reason. I had physical responses of stress several times a day for reasons that I could not figure out. Goose bumps, clenched jaw, holding my breath and many other things would happen at any given time and I thought it was normal. I had been experiencing this for so long, I thought it was just me. I figured I was just a broken person.

I have been able to go back into my early childhood years and identify situations that created this stress (which over the years rolled into post traumatic stress syndrome) and work through these issues. I have been to counselors, therapists, and talked with many people throughout my life, but nothing came close to getting to the root of the problem AND dealing with it like YOU University and Maia have.

Beyond dealing with it, I have learned to more or less re-program how I think and feel. And actually I would have to say it was more like re-setting myself back to the point in my life where I didn't have all of the stresses. The pure and untainted soul of my little girl. I have always been inside of me, I just built up all of these barriers and defenses to keep everyone (including me) away from me.

Now I am at peace with me. I can trust myself and my intuitions. I can love myself and see that I am very capable and smart. I have great conversations with people because I am able to express myself in a manner that is not offensive.  I have also began creating a new circle of people who nurture me, support me and that don't judge me for my mistakes. This has all happened for me because I changed my perspective of myself.  I  love me.  As Maia so perfectly states, "I have been reminded of who I am."

My experience in being trained by Maia Berens through YOU University

My video description of the amazing experience of being trained as a life coach through YOU University.

My Life Coaching Career: What You University Represents to Me

My Life Coaching Career: What You University Represents to Me: "


Click the above link for a great video on this topic

Making Strides

I am currently reading "Healing the Shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw. It is an assigned reading for me by my life coach Maia Berens. I have been experiencing some familiar old feelings as I read through the material and it talks about the negative side of shame caused by various childhood abuses.

I have talked openly in this blog about being a survivor of incest and some of the other experiences I had growing up in an alcoholic family. I have also done some serious soul work to heal the effects of my past. I was however taken a bit by surprise as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, to have these intense feelings come rushing back prompted by reading the book. I first began to notice the anger. Thoughts like, why didn't you protect me? What were you thinking? How could you do those awful things to your own child? My anger actually creeped into our group coaching call and when it was my turn to talk I tried to express it. I don't feel like I was too successful in relaying my feelings to the group, but they seemed to get that I was in distress. Maia, who identifies with the situation understood and agreed to talk with me about in more detail the following day. Both of the other group members touched base with me to also offer their support. This was an amazing feeling. And actually now that I think about it, this show of support and unity is a big part of how I was able to move away from the feeling of "being out of control" much quicker that in the past.

In earlier years of dealing with memories or flashbacks of abuse I would shut down for several days. More specifically I would become withdrawn and non-communicative with the people in my life. I would feel tired and want to sleep more and basically get really depressed. Not this time! I had great conversations with my fellow coaches and with their help was able to see the growth that I have accomplished and the wonderful things I have done in light of my abusive upbringing. I was able to see the reaction for what it was, just that, a reaction. Not the abuse happening again.

The amount of time spent in a "funk" was less than 24 hours. I did not shut myself off, actually the contrary. I was open to talking about my feelings and navigating my way through them. AND the big thing for me was that I had the tools to work through the issue. I have learned so much lately from being in a coaching group, having an incredible life coach, keeping an open minded and doing my work in YOU University. I am proud of myself. I feel great. I am continuing to read the book without fear of what it might trigger because I know that I can handle it and it will be a learning experience for me.

When I step back and take a look at the big picture, I can really appreciate this latest experience. It can be used as another teaching tool for my clients. I can relate to people who have gone through this same trauma (with my first hand experience) AND show them the tools that are available to help them deal with it. More specifically I can facilitate their journey through YOU University in a unique and personal way.

Just one more validating experience in the journey as a YOU University life coach!

Wonder Woman

Hello Wonder Woman,
Your name tells me a lot about you. I too am a Wonder Woman. It is a tough job, and the best advice I have received lately (just last week) was to take my cape off and take some pressure off myself to do it all (thank you Maia). I am only telling you this because I see similarities between us. I too am very focused on being a good parent and not damaging my kids, so much that I also feel guilty for making mistakes that may have a lasting effect on my kids in their own lives. The truth of the matter is that we as parents will make mistakes. My parents did, I have, and you probably have. That is how we learn, that is also how kids learn. I really love what Maia said about talking with your son. Really no matter what age he is, you can always talk to him on his level and explain that Mom, Mommy or Mother is not perfect. She is human, and humans make mistakes. I try to do this whenever I screw up with my own kids and they are 18, 11 and 3. Of course how I tell them varies with the age, but I still let them see that I can admit when I have done something wrong. I think it helps them to see that if they make mistakes they can do the same thing. I try to tell them what I plan to do so that I don't repeat the mistake and invite them to help me in implementing the change. Maia taught me this. Her specific example was in reference to me wanting to stop yelling when I get mad. She told me to tell the kids that they could ask me to take a time out when I start to loose it. It has actually become quite humorous. When I start to rant or become unreasonable they (and their friends) will say, "I think Mom needs a timeout." I usually end up laughing at hearing them tell me that I need to chill and that diffuses the situation.

My favorite word to explain how I like to parent is 'collaboratively'. It is actually my new favorite word. But it seems to take the pressure off me if I involve them in the parenting process. They get to feel like they have some say in the relationship and I get to feel like I am not in it alone. Of course, I am the parent, I do have the final say, but I am willing to listen (most of the time) to their view of the situation. That is how I do it. It works for me, again, most of the time. But as I said before I am not perfect and sometimes there are just those days when chaos happens. It happens in the real world and I am parenting real kids in the real world.

~Crystal

Step into your life...

I am direct, I am starting to learn that this is a gift. Most of my life I have been criticized for this quality. Since I have been collaborating with my coaching group and this community I am finding out that this directness, if done in a kind way, is a good trait. People don't have to read between the lines with me because I am straight forward. It is easy to know where I am coming from and how I feel. The community of people who are focused on growth and spirituality seem to embrace this personality type much easier than those less open to change.

It feels like some are threatened by my direct nature. The truth without all of the pretty flowery language is scary. I am really glad to have had this brought to my attention. For so many years I felt like I was to overbearing, that what I had to say was not worthy. I was afraid I was going to be criticized or told to keep my comments to myself. This carried over into giving people constructive criticism. I feared that people would think I thought I was better than them, or what they had to say was no good. I would be very unsure in my response when asked to give feedback. I didn't want anyone to get mad at me.

I need to give credit where credit is due and tell my coach Maia Berens thank you for being patient with me on this issue. Just today she told me she understood now why I would be so unsure when giving her feedback or editing suggestions. I love that she took the time to figure the dynamics of my personality enough to be able to come to this conclusion and share it with me. That is a true professional and a wonderful friend. I have not had many of these types of people in my life. It is refreshing. It also allowing me to see my worth and value and know that what I have to say is good stuff.

Thank you Maia.
You are empowering me to become who I really am!

Side note:
Maia Berens is also the founder of You University. This is a comprehensive program that will be available to the public soon! I am currently enrolled and I am experiencing incredible personal growth and development. I am also a coach featured to facilitate others through the program. It is incredible~can't wait for the launch!

Working hard on You University Promotion

I had never experienced such intense excitement for a project, until I began to work on the marketing launch of You University. 

First I should explain what that is. You University is an amazing comprehensive curriculum for personal growth that was created by my life coach Maia Berens. Maia has been in the personal development industry for many years, as a matter of fact, she worked closely with John Gray. His name probably sounds familiar because he wrote the famous book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It sold millions of copies and opened our eyes to a whole new of understanding of relationships. Maia was John's assistant and ran many of his workshops thus learning valuable skills and meeting fabulous people. These tools, and her own life experiences, are the foundation for You University. The school  is a study of your own personal history and exercises aimed at changing how you view your life. Ultimately, you will embrace all of your experiences, good and bad, as the reasons for you being the incredible person you are today.

I am very fortunate to be a part of the implementation of this incredible program.As a coach trained under Maia, I take clients through the University. I am proud to also be a big part of the marketing and upcoming launch of You University. This program is very effective and will change how people view their lives and their experiences. This in turn will lend to the world shift that is going on right now. We are moving to a place of peace and acceptance,  this starts with each individual, which You University facilitates perfectly.

All of this is why I am so excited to be working so hard. It is a great cause and amazing program. I look forward to being part of this positive change  in the lives of our amazing human race.