A New "Healing" Experience

Just yesterday I had my first appointment with a woman whom I am trading services with. I am acting as her personal development life coach and she is helping me through some old issue by doing a body healing exercise with me. It is really turning out to be an amazing experience for the both of us.

When I coached her yesterday I was able to give an outsider's perspective to the situation she is right in the middle of. Since I am not going through it, I was able to see clearly what I needed to guide her to look at to get the answers she has been searching for. The answers have always been inside of her, I was just able to tap into the triggers that would allow her to see the path to follow. It was very empowering for me. It validated everything I know about myself on a level that was above anything I have felt before. I felt as much joy in helping her, as she did in receiving my help. When I got off the call, I was energized and felt like I could accomplish anything........I mean anything. It was an amazing feeling that lasted the entire day. When I think of what this means, it brings a huge smile to my face. As my chosen path, my job, I will be feeling amazing after my work. How great is that? We spend so much of our life working, that to be able to blend pleasure and work together is the most brilliant thing ever. It brings new meaning to loving what you do as well as finding my special purpose.

The trade happened with us the same day, but later in the evening. It was perfect because my kids were (sort of) in bed and I had privacy. My healer explained the process fully and I was very comfortable with what was about to transpire. She let me know that since we were on the phone, and not face to face, that she would be taking on my body's feelings temporarily so she could intuitively feel what I my body was feeling  in response to the questions she would be asking. She did an invocation to start off that invited the divine and the other powers of the unknown to join us and help us with the healing journey. She placed a virtual shield of safety around both of us to keep us from harm during the session, and away we went.

Her voice was very soft and calming and she asked very specific questions about trapped emotions that my body was holding on to. As she asked the questions she was able to get messages from my body, that her body felt and then she could formulate the answer to the questions she asked. I laid in my bed, relaxed, and listened to what she way saying. I was truly amazed at how right on the answers to the specific questions she posed were. Let me give you an example. She asked if their was a trapped emotion of disgust in me, which there is, and she verified. We then spoke with each other interactively about what she saw and felt this disgust pertained to, and I replied about what I specifically knew the disgust pertained to. Between the both of us what we came up with made perfect sense to me, and after wards she did a ceremonial release of the emotion of disgust. She could feel it go out of her body, which was actually my body that she was temporarily in to feel my emotions, and I could also feel it. It was a tingling sensation in certain areas of my body, and upon talking about where we each felt it, they were exactly the same areas. Pretty unbelievable. The session was just short of an hour, and each time we released a trapped emotion, I felt something different inside of myself. I felt sort of clean and pure, and maybe a hint of what it felt like to be a brand new baby without any negative experiences in my soul.

I was pretty fatigued after the session was over, she explained what to expect in the next few days and let me know if  I needed to talk to her about anything I experienced, that I was free to call. Because your body is getting rid of emotion which is toxin, she suggested I drink plenty of water. Also, body work is physically and mentally draining, she also recommended I be very aware of my feelings and interactions with others and practice good self care.

I am very excited to watch this all unfold. We both have at least 3 more sessions with each other and I am confident this will be a life changing experience for the both of us. We both marveled in the fact that we found each other in the 'internet sea' and knew immediately it was meant to be. (a little unplanned poetry there!) It truly is no accident that we are able to help each other with our specific gifts and I am convinced this is the beginning of an amazing journey into my next phase of life as a coach. I am proud to be putting my God given talents to work in a way that benefits myself as well as my clients.

I have been reminded of who I am

My life has changed so much in the past year that it is truly unbelievable.  I don't want to sound like someone who is trying to promote anything, but seriously, since I have began a life coaching relationship with Maia and went through her personal development program (YOU University) my whole everything has changed.

The most noticeable to me is the way I feel inside. I am 42 years old and for the first time in my life I don't have internal turmoil going on inside of me. I don't feel anxious, worried, or stressed out for no apparent reason. I had physical responses of stress several times a day for reasons that I could not figure out. Goose bumps, clenched jaw, holding my breath and many other things would happen at any given time and I thought it was normal. I had been experiencing this for so long, I thought it was just me. I figured I was just a broken person.

I have been able to go back into my early childhood years and identify situations that created this stress (which over the years rolled into post traumatic stress syndrome) and work through these issues. I have been to counselors, therapists, and talked with many people throughout my life, but nothing came close to getting to the root of the problem AND dealing with it like YOU University and Maia have.

Beyond dealing with it, I have learned to more or less re-program how I think and feel. And actually I would have to say it was more like re-setting myself back to the point in my life where I didn't have all of the stresses. The pure and untainted soul of my little girl. I have always been inside of me, I just built up all of these barriers and defenses to keep everyone (including me) away from me.

Now I am at peace with me. I can trust myself and my intuitions. I can love myself and see that I am very capable and smart. I have great conversations with people because I am able to express myself in a manner that is not offensive.  I have also began creating a new circle of people who nurture me, support me and that don't judge me for my mistakes. This has all happened for me because I changed my perspective of myself.  I  love me.  As Maia so perfectly states, "I have been reminded of who I am."

Making Strides

I am currently reading "Healing the Shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw. It is an assigned reading for me by my life coach Maia Berens. I have been experiencing some familiar old feelings as I read through the material and it talks about the negative side of shame caused by various childhood abuses.

I have talked openly in this blog about being a survivor of incest and some of the other experiences I had growing up in an alcoholic family. I have also done some serious soul work to heal the effects of my past. I was however taken a bit by surprise as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, to have these intense feelings come rushing back prompted by reading the book. I first began to notice the anger. Thoughts like, why didn't you protect me? What were you thinking? How could you do those awful things to your own child? My anger actually creeped into our group coaching call and when it was my turn to talk I tried to express it. I don't feel like I was too successful in relaying my feelings to the group, but they seemed to get that I was in distress. Maia, who identifies with the situation understood and agreed to talk with me about in more detail the following day. Both of the other group members touched base with me to also offer their support. This was an amazing feeling. And actually now that I think about it, this show of support and unity is a big part of how I was able to move away from the feeling of "being out of control" much quicker that in the past.

In earlier years of dealing with memories or flashbacks of abuse I would shut down for several days. More specifically I would become withdrawn and non-communicative with the people in my life. I would feel tired and want to sleep more and basically get really depressed. Not this time! I had great conversations with my fellow coaches and with their help was able to see the growth that I have accomplished and the wonderful things I have done in light of my abusive upbringing. I was able to see the reaction for what it was, just that, a reaction. Not the abuse happening again.

The amount of time spent in a "funk" was less than 24 hours. I did not shut myself off, actually the contrary. I was open to talking about my feelings and navigating my way through them. AND the big thing for me was that I had the tools to work through the issue. I have learned so much lately from being in a coaching group, having an incredible life coach, keeping an open minded and doing my work in YOU University. I am proud of myself. I feel great. I am continuing to read the book without fear of what it might trigger because I know that I can handle it and it will be a learning experience for me.

When I step back and take a look at the big picture, I can really appreciate this latest experience. It can be used as another teaching tool for my clients. I can relate to people who have gone through this same trauma (with my first hand experience) AND show them the tools that are available to help them deal with it. More specifically I can facilitate their journey through YOU University in a unique and personal way.

Just one more validating experience in the journey as a YOU University life coach!

A bit about my Life Coach, Maia Berens

I love Maia.
I will speak of just today and what she did to help me. If I spoke of all of the occasions it would take a month!

We had a one-on-one coaching call scheduled and when she asked me how I was, that is all it took for her to hear in my voice that there was something wrong. She immediately focused on what I needed. She asked my what was wrong and I began to babble, literally, about sprint and how they are jacking me around, Cooper and how he didn't go to sleep until after midnight last night (mind you, he is 3 and I was wiped out), Alex and how she wants to be treated like an adult but still wants to act like the 18 year old she is, how I was emotional and pms-ing, how my to-do list was so long that I couldn't see the end of it, how I have family all around me and no one offers support, how being a single parent sucks, and on and on and on.........

After I went on for a while Maia, said her famous line that snaps me back into reality, "I get it, now what are we going to do about it". So then I began to list off all of the things I had already decided to put into motion, from my coaching call with Adrienne the night before, you see I have been having this meltdown for 2 days now! Anyway, overwhelmed was the predominant feeling today. The immediate problem was the yelling match I just had with Alex, and how shitty I was feeling because of it. I knew I had been grouchy and was taking it out on her, but I couldn't communicate with her.

This is where Maia really stepped in as a mentor, coach, and FRIEND. She offered to talk to the both of us at the same time. We put her (Maia) on speaker phone and even though Alex was a bit resistant at first she really heard Maia. Maia has this way of always being objective. To not take sides, which I am sure Alex assumed she would do. Maia gave Alex permission not to talk if she was not comfortable, since this was the first time they had interacted in this way. Maia asked us each to briefly explain the problem as we saw it, she listened, and then she gave feedback. She did not defend me or Alex. She just pointed out how each of us saw the situation and then asked each of us if our perceptions were correct. I admitted that what Alex was feeling was true. This was huge for my daughter to hear from me. Maia asked Alex to realize that she is being heard.

One of the most important things Maia did with the two of us today, was to keep it brief. We didn't go on an on about what we were mad about. We vented, we listened and then she gave us an assignment that we both agreed to do. This assignment will move us to the next level in our relationship. It addresses the change that is occurring in our relationship.

Alex just graduated from High School and our relationship is changing, to one sort like roommates I guess you would say. She wants to be treated like an adult and I want to give her that freedom but I still need to hold her accountable and be the parent as well. Maia suggested that we each:
1. make a list of our expectations of each other, and
2. write about how we ideally would like our relationship to be

Much to my surprise after the tears and the anger, Alex happily agreed to the assignment as well as checking back in on Friday to discuss what we wrote down on our lists. She was calm after the call, we were able to say "I love you" to each other and the overall feeling in the house was much, much better.

I am proud of Alex for being willing to do this call with Maia and I.
I am proud of myself for listening and admitting to my part of the whole situation.
I am mostly proud to have such an amazing woman in my life. Maia is a friend forever. She gives herself completely. I really needed her today and she was there for me and my family. She is the person who can help me be the parent I want to be, and all I have to do is ask. She is the person who empowers me to be a life coach and share my knowledge gained through my experiences to others in the same way she does. She is the person that makes me realize that we can make a difference in this world, one person at a time.

I Love her, I admire her, she allows me to be equal with her. She does not use her gifts as a power over me, she willingly shares them to help me excel in life. I have never know a person like this, who doesn't put a price on their friendship. Who doesn't resent me for needing her help or make me feel like I owe her something. She is genuine.
She IS the Fairy godmother she professes to be.

Wonder Woman

Hello Wonder Woman,
Your name tells me a lot about you. I too am a Wonder Woman. It is a tough job, and the best advice I have received lately (just last week) was to take my cape off and take some pressure off myself to do it all (thank you Maia). I am only telling you this because I see similarities between us. I too am very focused on being a good parent and not damaging my kids, so much that I also feel guilty for making mistakes that may have a lasting effect on my kids in their own lives. The truth of the matter is that we as parents will make mistakes. My parents did, I have, and you probably have. That is how we learn, that is also how kids learn. I really love what Maia said about talking with your son. Really no matter what age he is, you can always talk to him on his level and explain that Mom, Mommy or Mother is not perfect. She is human, and humans make mistakes. I try to do this whenever I screw up with my own kids and they are 18, 11 and 3. Of course how I tell them varies with the age, but I still let them see that I can admit when I have done something wrong. I think it helps them to see that if they make mistakes they can do the same thing. I try to tell them what I plan to do so that I don't repeat the mistake and invite them to help me in implementing the change. Maia taught me this. Her specific example was in reference to me wanting to stop yelling when I get mad. She told me to tell the kids that they could ask me to take a time out when I start to loose it. It has actually become quite humorous. When I start to rant or become unreasonable they (and their friends) will say, "I think Mom needs a timeout." I usually end up laughing at hearing them tell me that I need to chill and that diffuses the situation.

My favorite word to explain how I like to parent is 'collaboratively'. It is actually my new favorite word. But it seems to take the pressure off me if I involve them in the parenting process. They get to feel like they have some say in the relationship and I get to feel like I am not in it alone. Of course, I am the parent, I do have the final say, but I am willing to listen (most of the time) to their view of the situation. That is how I do it. It works for me, again, most of the time. But as I said before I am not perfect and sometimes there are just those days when chaos happens. It happens in the real world and I am parenting real kids in the real world.

~Crystal

Step into your life...

I am direct, I am starting to learn that this is a gift. Most of my life I have been criticized for this quality. Since I have been collaborating with my coaching group and this community I am finding out that this directness, if done in a kind way, is a good trait. People don't have to read between the lines with me because I am straight forward. It is easy to know where I am coming from and how I feel. The community of people who are focused on growth and spirituality seem to embrace this personality type much easier than those less open to change.

It feels like some are threatened by my direct nature. The truth without all of the pretty flowery language is scary. I am really glad to have had this brought to my attention. For so many years I felt like I was to overbearing, that what I had to say was not worthy. I was afraid I was going to be criticized or told to keep my comments to myself. This carried over into giving people constructive criticism. I feared that people would think I thought I was better than them, or what they had to say was no good. I would be very unsure in my response when asked to give feedback. I didn't want anyone to get mad at me.

I need to give credit where credit is due and tell my coach Maia Berens thank you for being patient with me on this issue. Just today she told me she understood now why I would be so unsure when giving her feedback or editing suggestions. I love that she took the time to figure the dynamics of my personality enough to be able to come to this conclusion and share it with me. That is a true professional and a wonderful friend. I have not had many of these types of people in my life. It is refreshing. It also allowing me to see my worth and value and know that what I have to say is good stuff.

Thank you Maia.
You are empowering me to become who I really am!

Side note:
Maia Berens is also the founder of You University. This is a comprehensive program that will be available to the public soon! I am currently enrolled and I am experiencing incredible personal growth and development. I am also a coach featured to facilitate others through the program. It is incredible~can't wait for the launch!

My Purpose

In defining my purpose, I would have to say it would be to share my personal life experiences with others to help them in their personal growth.

I am executing that by being a life coach! I am impacting the world one person at a time. I am living what I teach. I am teaching my children what I know. I am creating the ripple that will turn into a wave of peace throughout our planet.

I am fascinated with understanding our paths and the reason for our journey on earth. I believe each experience we have has it purpose. I love to reflect and learn.

This is what my life to be about. The journey and how to make the best of it. How to show others what I am discovering.

Working hard on You University Promotion

I had never experienced such intense excitement for a project, until I began to work on the marketing launch of You University. 

First I should explain what that is. You University is an amazing comprehensive curriculum for personal growth that was created by my life coach Maia Berens. Maia has been in the personal development industry for many years, as a matter of fact, she worked closely with John Gray. His name probably sounds familiar because he wrote the famous book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It sold millions of copies and opened our eyes to a whole new of understanding of relationships. Maia was John's assistant and ran many of his workshops thus learning valuable skills and meeting fabulous people. These tools, and her own life experiences, are the foundation for You University. The school  is a study of your own personal history and exercises aimed at changing how you view your life. Ultimately, you will embrace all of your experiences, good and bad, as the reasons for you being the incredible person you are today.

I am very fortunate to be a part of the implementation of this incredible program.As a coach trained under Maia, I take clients through the University. I am proud to also be a big part of the marketing and upcoming launch of You University. This program is very effective and will change how people view their lives and their experiences. This in turn will lend to the world shift that is going on right now. We are moving to a place of peace and acceptance,  this starts with each individual, which You University facilitates perfectly.

All of this is why I am so excited to be working so hard. It is a great cause and amazing program. I look forward to being part of this positive change  in the lives of our amazing human race.