Receiving Love and Gifts of Gratitude

On a human level love and gratitude is validating. It gives purpose to our existence. On a personal level it makes me feel proud of the person I am. I feel rewarded by the gratitude. It makes me smile and have an energy that is vibrant and contagious.

If gratitude is hard to receive, I try to look at why. It may be that I don't feel like I deserve the gratitude. This could be because I know I could have done better, or it could be because I am not used to hearing it. In my life I have not heard much gratitude. It is not something I experienced in my family. It was almost viewed as a sign of weakness to express your gratitude to someone.

I really don't think having a hard time receiving compliments or gifts or love has anything to do with not having gratitude yourself. I think it has more to do with not having the proper amount of self esteem and self value. I think it is learned early on by the adults around you and what they role model. This is a good thing because it can be re-learned once you realize that you are not able to receive it properly. I have had to relearn this and it has been just as powerful as learning to have a grateful attitude. They both go hand in hand.

The Attitude of Gratitude

My attitude of gratitude controls how happy I am in my life. Life still goes on and stuff is always happening, but my perception of the stuff that happens it so much brighter when I am able to find the gift. I have lived my life with no gratitude and it got me no where but depressed, broke and very addicted. My search for the perfect high was really my way of trying to create a sense of gratitude. But, I have since learned that no substance can give me this. It is only through my own choice of outlook that I can feel grateful. I give this to myself. No one else does. No substance does. This is actually a great thing. It costs nothing but my time and energy. I do not have to count on anyone to give it to me. And, it is available all of the time!

When I encounter that ungrateful person, I have no desire to be around them. I may try to get them to see how their attitude affects their life, but if I am met with resistance, I just try to remove myself from their presence as soon as possible. When this is not an option, like with my kids, I try to role model for them what great power gratitude has in it. If they are insisting on staying stuck in negativity, I listen, and then I ask them to try and state one positive thing about what ever is going on. They usually can. It is like changing a bad habit, I keep reinforcing the idea and eventually they will make the change. Hopefully they don't leave the nest and forget everything I taught them! But since the kids' Dads are perfect examples of ungrateful people and what you get from a negative attitude, I think they can see the contrast and will make the choice to be grateful.

Being ungrateful seems like such a waste of time and energy. It also affects the vibe around the ungrateful person. I want to see a positive change globally and when people don't buy into this it bothers me. It is defeating my purpose. On a personal level when my family is not grateful for the things I do, I am hurt. I feel like I am not valued. I am learning however that if family continues to be ungrateful, then I have to be the one to stop giving. Otherwise I am just setting myself up for disappointment. With my children, I don't stop giving. They are my students and I am to teach them. So, I explain to them the best I can how they are making me feel and that a consequence could be me ceasing to do the nice things I do. I explain that is not what I want to do, what I want is them to be grateful and to show that with their action or words.

This topic is going to need more than one entry, so I will leave it here for now.